I just wanted to give everyone a quick update and say "thanks" for all the comments and prayers that have been sent our way. I don't know why I always think I'll be prepared for something I've done before, because it's never the same twice. I know God keeps it that way to keep us leaning on Him and that's exactly where I am.

The last three days have been so emotionally and physically draining, but I can truly say I've felt His strength and grace to walk it out even through all the pain and tears. Emma has had a much better day today. I woke up heavy with the thoughts of what the day might bring and asked my Father for some kind of reprieve just so we could rest. He's always faithful. I knew we all needed out of the house. We had given Emma her bicycle yesterday which she rode for almost two hours, but it was just too cold and windy for that today, so we headed to the ranch. I took her to the barn with the horse and she enjoyed petting him. She was able to run and play inside and visit the bottle fed baby calves. It helped so much.

Even as we've had to watch Emma grieve so deeply, we've seen such breakthrough after each meltdown. I always tell her I love her and how sorry I am, but that all will be okay. It's been some of the only times that I feel she's really recieved my love. I know God is knitting our hearts together as we walk side by side in this. Each day I ask for ways to reach her and each day something is given to me...it might be finding the batteries for her phone that noone else can find or fixing her dolls hair, but each one brings us closer together.

A friend of mine said it so well when she said as we win Emma's love and affection it will be a treasure worth more than gold and that's exactly how I feel about her...she's worth more than anything this world could offer me. I really want to post pictures of her at home, but we've had so little rest that by the time I can download some I'm too tired. Last night was better and I'm praying tonight we'll all get the rest we need so that pictures will be soon to follow!

We're Home and Emma Grieves

We made it home very late Wednesday night after a long trip home. All in all the kids did so well after 30 hours of travel. Our precious Emma did fine until Minneapolis and our 5 hour lay over. I can only remotely relate to being in a foreign land with all I've ever known really gone and the reality of it all hitting in a moment. That moment came for Emma when I went to put a bandaid on an owie she had. She didn't want that bandaid or that mother at that moment and the flood of tears came. Oh how my heart broke for her in that place. Long story short, her daddy came to the rescue and she eventually cried herself to sleep in Brittany's arms.

She made it on home fine and did love her room. Her eyes lit up when she saw it and all her toys. She and Isaiah fell asleep in his room around 2am. I was awakened about 5am by the crackling of paper in the kitchen and found them both in bed eating the rice snacks we'd brought home from China. They did eventually fall asleep and didn't awaken again until 2:30 that afternoon!

Emma did pretty well yesterday until Blake left (she had an immediate bond with him and told him she loved him that first night). The tears started to flow as he dorve off and there was noone to comfort her. I sat on the floor beside her and just cried with her, but she wanted away from me and everthing else. I think we both could have taken off running and crying in opposite directions and not stopped, but we would have met again on the other side and been right back here again. I know I have to let her grieve, but the pain of watching your child suffer such deep blows is beyond words and beyond difficult. I just kept crying out to my Father to please let me bear this for her... and in that still, calming voice I heard Him reply, "I already have." So I weep when she weeps and ask that in His mercy her pain be healed quickly.

Last night was also difficult as she woke me with her sobbing. Jeff was able to comfort her a little, but sleep didn't come until the wee morning hours. Isaiah was sleeping with her and I asked him to come with me for awhile. He didn't want to leave her, but I knew he needed rest, too. As he lay beside me he began to cry. I asked him if he wanted to talk and he said he was so sad for his Emma and wanted to pray for her. He just kept asking God to help her and make the night not so hard. I know he carries his sister in a way none of us can, having grieved the same losses. I'm just so blessed by my children and their compassion for each other and knowledge of the only One who can really touch and heal our broken hearts.

We are so glad to be home. I do know that the weeping will only last for a moment and when that joy comes how amazing it will be. I look at Isaiah everday and stand in awe of God's goodness and transformation in his heart. It will come for Emma, too.

We're Packed and Ready To Go!

We had a really good last day in Guangzhou. We took the kids swimming this morning and Emma loved the pool. Mavery was so cute just sitting and watching the older two play, but never got more than her feet wet. I think Isaiah and Emma would have stayed all day.

We ate lunch at the hotel and rested a bit before the red couch pictures and our trip to the Consulate. Isaiah and Brit stayed at the hotel for some brother/sister time and Jeff and I took Emma for the swearing in. Everything went fairly quickly and Emma will be an official US citizen when she steps off the plane in Minneapolis.

We ate a the hotel's Chinese restaurant tonight for our farewell dinner with Mark and Shannon. Emma must have known it was her last meal here because she ate more meat than I've seen her eat all week. I don't know where she put it but she definately enjoyed every bite. We have so enjoyed our time with Mark and Shannon and the Crawford's. We're going to miss them so much. It's hard to say good-bye when we know Emma and Mavery have been so close, but we'll always keep the girls in touch.

I've made my last shopping and snack run and think I'm ready to close the last suitcase. I know we'll be back someday either to visit friends or bring our kids back to their homeland. We'll miss the people here, but are so ready to be home and with our friends and family. Good-bye from China!

Much love--Leigh
PS I got to kiss Emma on the forehead tonight without a shove or a grimace...that's by far the best "gift" I could have received before I left!

Catching up

We had a really relaxing morning staying at the hotel and waiting for the phone call from Connie to say that all the paperwork went thru the Consulate interview without any hitches...and it did. Tomorrow afternoon will be the swearing in and all will be official on the US side of the things.

Emma and Isaiah had a really good morning wrestling and hanging out with each other. They are so funny together. Emma can easily take Isaiah down (much like Brit used to do Blake) and he thinks it is so funny...at least for now!? Emma continues to let her guard down with me more and more, especially when we're just being silly. She'll still "catch" herself every so often as if to say "oh yeah, I'm not supposed to like her". We're trying to keep the bathroom time (potty breaks and baths) to just me and her and she is fine with that. I can't wait until her hair grows out and we can have girl time fixing hair.

Our trip to the safari park and zoo yesterday was really nice, hot, but nice. The kids loved seeing the animals, especially the pandas. The other family we are in Guangzhou with got to ride the elephant at the park. I loved watching Jerrilea and Ella as the elephant would spray people with water. I really wanted to ride, but Isaiah said he'd probably cry and I wasn't sure about Emma since she was so tired by that point. We did love feeding and holding the baby tiger.

Emma is so funny and I love to watch her come out of her shell. Tonight we were saying "your welcome" in Chinese and Emma kept repeating us when all of a sudden she blurted out "your welcome" in English as clear as a bell. We all started laughing and she just had this proud as a peacock sort of look on her face. She loves to eat as much as Isaiah. Some of her favorites are spaghetti, chicken, watermelon, apples, and bread.

We took some really cute pictures of the kids around the hotel today that I'll try and post later. I can't believe we'll be headed home in less than 48 hours!

Much love--Leigh