Pictures from Home

What Makes Her Smile

I love to see the joy breaking in over Emma's sadness. The grieving still lingers, but everyday we see more of the light in Emma's eyes and heart. Each day I ask for something to help her connect with me more and our hearts are being knit together as we find those things. These "are a few of her favorite things":

--She loves to shop. We took her for her first shopping spree on one of her "down" days and her eyes just lit up when we entered the store. She let out a sigh of wonder and soon began picking out some of her favorite pink things and jewels.

--She loves ice cream with chocolate syrup. The first time I gave it to her she cleaned the bowl...literally licking the bottom...and asked for more 3 times (of which I gave her, but in small portions)!

--She loves books, puzzles, music, and playing with her babies. We've had some really great times playing house and just being silly.

--She loves being outside. She can run, ride her bike, play in the dirt, and not have to think about what she's left behind.

The past two weeks have seemed like two months with all the ups and downs, busy days and long nights, but I can see the purpose and progres through it all. Emma lets go of her fear and frustration a little more each day and with that she opens her heart to our love and ultimately His love. The little things between the two of us are huge and I don't take one for granted. She grabbed my hand the other day as we walked to the barn, she fell and scraped her knee and came running to me for a bandaid (which turned into a large patch, then some medical tape, and finally an owie wrapped in guaze!), she held out her arms to me to help her out of the car and we had our first real embrace, she called for me help her get dressed, and she fixed my hair giggling and singing the entire time...and believe me, it was laughable!

I put a couple of songs on a playlist for this blog just because they not only remind me of my walk with the Father, but of Emma's. Brit downloaded these before we left for China and they really struck a chord in my heart as I prayed for Emma's arrival and now I know why. The second song has a few verses towards the end that I continue to sing over Emma as God reveals His love for her and uses us as his hands and voice to speak love each day. What an incredible journey adoption and parenting is and even with all the struggles I wouldn't trade my road with anyone!

I just wanted to give everyone a quick update and say "thanks" for all the comments and prayers that have been sent our way. I don't know why I always think I'll be prepared for something I've done before, because it's never the same twice. I know God keeps it that way to keep us leaning on Him and that's exactly where I am.

The last three days have been so emotionally and physically draining, but I can truly say I've felt His strength and grace to walk it out even through all the pain and tears. Emma has had a much better day today. I woke up heavy with the thoughts of what the day might bring and asked my Father for some kind of reprieve just so we could rest. He's always faithful. I knew we all needed out of the house. We had given Emma her bicycle yesterday which she rode for almost two hours, but it was just too cold and windy for that today, so we headed to the ranch. I took her to the barn with the horse and she enjoyed petting him. She was able to run and play inside and visit the bottle fed baby calves. It helped so much.

Even as we've had to watch Emma grieve so deeply, we've seen such breakthrough after each meltdown. I always tell her I love her and how sorry I am, but that all will be okay. It's been some of the only times that I feel she's really recieved my love. I know God is knitting our hearts together as we walk side by side in this. Each day I ask for ways to reach her and each day something is given to me...it might be finding the batteries for her phone that noone else can find or fixing her dolls hair, but each one brings us closer together.

A friend of mine said it so well when she said as we win Emma's love and affection it will be a treasure worth more than gold and that's exactly how I feel about her...she's worth more than anything this world could offer me. I really want to post pictures of her at home, but we've had so little rest that by the time I can download some I'm too tired. Last night was better and I'm praying tonight we'll all get the rest we need so that pictures will be soon to follow!

We're Home and Emma Grieves

We made it home very late Wednesday night after a long trip home. All in all the kids did so well after 30 hours of travel. Our precious Emma did fine until Minneapolis and our 5 hour lay over. I can only remotely relate to being in a foreign land with all I've ever known really gone and the reality of it all hitting in a moment. That moment came for Emma when I went to put a bandaid on an owie she had. She didn't want that bandaid or that mother at that moment and the flood of tears came. Oh how my heart broke for her in that place. Long story short, her daddy came to the rescue and she eventually cried herself to sleep in Brittany's arms.

She made it on home fine and did love her room. Her eyes lit up when she saw it and all her toys. She and Isaiah fell asleep in his room around 2am. I was awakened about 5am by the crackling of paper in the kitchen and found them both in bed eating the rice snacks we'd brought home from China. They did eventually fall asleep and didn't awaken again until 2:30 that afternoon!

Emma did pretty well yesterday until Blake left (she had an immediate bond with him and told him she loved him that first night). The tears started to flow as he dorve off and there was noone to comfort her. I sat on the floor beside her and just cried with her, but she wanted away from me and everthing else. I think we both could have taken off running and crying in opposite directions and not stopped, but we would have met again on the other side and been right back here again. I know I have to let her grieve, but the pain of watching your child suffer such deep blows is beyond words and beyond difficult. I just kept crying out to my Father to please let me bear this for her... and in that still, calming voice I heard Him reply, "I already have." So I weep when she weeps and ask that in His mercy her pain be healed quickly.

Last night was also difficult as she woke me with her sobbing. Jeff was able to comfort her a little, but sleep didn't come until the wee morning hours. Isaiah was sleeping with her and I asked him to come with me for awhile. He didn't want to leave her, but I knew he needed rest, too. As he lay beside me he began to cry. I asked him if he wanted to talk and he said he was so sad for his Emma and wanted to pray for her. He just kept asking God to help her and make the night not so hard. I know he carries his sister in a way none of us can, having grieved the same losses. I'm just so blessed by my children and their compassion for each other and knowledge of the only One who can really touch and heal our broken hearts.

We are so glad to be home. I do know that the weeping will only last for a moment and when that joy comes how amazing it will be. I look at Isaiah everday and stand in awe of God's goodness and transformation in his heart. It will come for Emma, too.

We're Packed and Ready To Go!

We had a really good last day in Guangzhou. We took the kids swimming this morning and Emma loved the pool. Mavery was so cute just sitting and watching the older two play, but never got more than her feet wet. I think Isaiah and Emma would have stayed all day.

We ate lunch at the hotel and rested a bit before the red couch pictures and our trip to the Consulate. Isaiah and Brit stayed at the hotel for some brother/sister time and Jeff and I took Emma for the swearing in. Everything went fairly quickly and Emma will be an official US citizen when she steps off the plane in Minneapolis.

We ate a the hotel's Chinese restaurant tonight for our farewell dinner with Mark and Shannon. Emma must have known it was her last meal here because she ate more meat than I've seen her eat all week. I don't know where she put it but she definately enjoyed every bite. We have so enjoyed our time with Mark and Shannon and the Crawford's. We're going to miss them so much. It's hard to say good-bye when we know Emma and Mavery have been so close, but we'll always keep the girls in touch.

I've made my last shopping and snack run and think I'm ready to close the last suitcase. I know we'll be back someday either to visit friends or bring our kids back to their homeland. We'll miss the people here, but are so ready to be home and with our friends and family. Good-bye from China!

Much love--Leigh
PS I got to kiss Emma on the forehead tonight without a shove or a grimace...that's by far the best "gift" I could have received before I left!

Catching up

We had a really relaxing morning staying at the hotel and waiting for the phone call from Connie to say that all the paperwork went thru the Consulate interview without any hitches...and it did. Tomorrow afternoon will be the swearing in and all will be official on the US side of the things.

Emma and Isaiah had a really good morning wrestling and hanging out with each other. They are so funny together. Emma can easily take Isaiah down (much like Brit used to do Blake) and he thinks it is so funny...at least for now!? Emma continues to let her guard down with me more and more, especially when we're just being silly. She'll still "catch" herself every so often as if to say "oh yeah, I'm not supposed to like her". We're trying to keep the bathroom time (potty breaks and baths) to just me and her and she is fine with that. I can't wait until her hair grows out and we can have girl time fixing hair.

Our trip to the safari park and zoo yesterday was really nice, hot, but nice. The kids loved seeing the animals, especially the pandas. The other family we are in Guangzhou with got to ride the elephant at the park. I loved watching Jerrilea and Ella as the elephant would spray people with water. I really wanted to ride, but Isaiah said he'd probably cry and I wasn't sure about Emma since she was so tired by that point. We did love feeding and holding the baby tiger.

Emma is so funny and I love to watch her come out of her shell. Tonight we were saying "your welcome" in Chinese and Emma kept repeating us when all of a sudden she blurted out "your welcome" in English as clear as a bell. We all started laughing and she just had this proud as a peacock sort of look on her face. She loves to eat as much as Isaiah. Some of her favorites are spaghetti, chicken, watermelon, apples, and bread.

We took some really cute pictures of the kids around the hotel today that I'll try and post later. I can't believe we'll be headed home in less than 48 hours!

Much love--Leigh

We're in Guangzhou

We arrived in Guangzhou about 8:30 last night and to our hotel around 10:30. It was a long day for the kids without naps and with such a late flight, but they did great. Emma did really well on her first flight, other than the moment Jeff though she was going to puke...but that passed and she was fine. We are just praying for smooth flights and no air sickness for the trip home! She was so excited when she saw the plane and loved having her own personal television so she could punch buttons.

She's had a really good day today and seems so much more herself. The medical exam went really well and all the doctors were so kind to her. She did so good with her eye exam. She could see the fifth line from the bottom, which is really good. Her left eye couldn't focus on the chart, but she responded a little to the light. Everyone comments on how beautiful her eyes are and, of course, we agree! We also took her to the clinic in the hotel for her cough. They think she has bronchitis and gave us some antibiotics to get us thru the rest of the trip.

I wish I could catch Emma crinkling her nose and covering her mouth when she gets tickled, it's just too cute. She loves to put her little ladybug wrist purse on and walk with her arm up like the little princess she is. It's so fun to see more of her personality coming out as she gets settled with us.

She has been waking up at night screaming, but falls back to sleep. We just keep praying for her peace at night. She goes to bed really well, but between the coughing, night terrors, and falling out of bed (she had rails on her bed at the SWI and we now have a bed next to the wall so that should help), it's never really restful.

We are so glad to be in Guangzhou and in a hotel that has some room for us to spread out. I'm also looking forward to shopping while we're here...it's just so much easier and more peaceful on the "island". I'll also try and post some pictures from Emma's medical exam and the plane. Isaiah wants his friends and Mrs. Bromwell to know he misses them and can't wait to see them and tell them all about his trip.
Thanks for all the prayers that have gone up for us. We couldn't do this without all our prayer warriors at home!

Much love--Leigh

About Emma

I know my posts have been pretty short and sweet this time, but between two little ones and internet problems I haven't been able to much more. I wanted to take a minute and share some more about Emma before I'm interupted again. I really am always amazed at how our China kids leave all they've ever known and embrace us the way they do. I look at my own struggles with new things and change and have nothing but admiration for how brave they are. Emma is no different. I know she has so much she's experienced before us and that all those things will always be apart of her. She has been such a little trooper in all of this. I do see her "coping" with all these new things in the only way she knows how. Sometimes it might be a shove, withdrawing, or anything else that might test this new family and the world she's been thrown into. Other times she's just wanting to hold a hand, share something with us, or comfort Isaiah when he's sad (which has been several times over the past 2 days).

She is really funny, but in a much more covert or quiet way. She was playing stickers with Isaiah today and he put one on a blank page. When he turned to get another one, she turn the page over. He looked at the page with this question on his face and Emma quickly turned it back over and giggled. Isaiah and her both just started laughing. They'll definately give each other a run for the money.

She has struggled in her relationship with me, but we have made some headway. Last night was really good for us. I was listening to my Chinese words and phrases CD and let her listen. She really liked it and would repeat all the phrases, but added to "boo shir" (no) to most of them. I would say it like she said it and she would laugh. Pretty soon she was sitting next to me and calling me mama, which hasn't happened since the first day (she's pretty much ignored me). It so blessed my heart. I know it must be so hard for her to just let her guard down and embrace, when she doesn't know that this is really forever and is still grieving the loss of her Jinhua family.

She also grabbed my hand today when I was walking down the hall and held it until we reached the lobby, so I know we're making progress.

We toured the lake this morning and it was really beautiful. We also ate at a really good Chinese restaurant. We hope to visit the silk market tomorrow before we leave. Our flight doesn't leave for Guangzhou until 6:30 and we have to check out of our hotel at 2pm, so I'm praying the girls do okay during the wait. I would just continue to ask for prayer for Emma to be more settled and that we can communicate without her getting too frustrated.

I apologize for not getting pictures posted from the orphanage visit...they were erased from our memory card by accident, so I'm really thankful Shanoon was with us. I may not get another post up until Guangzhou.

Much love--Leigh

(the above pictures were from our visit to the lake and with our guide, Peter)

A quick update

I only have a few minutes before our tour of the West Lake, but wanted everyone to know we are doing fine. We had a pretty good day yesterday just taking it easy and enjoying some time with the kids. Isaiah and Emma are both doing good. Emma still isn't feeling well (stuffy nose and cough), but is hanging in there. I hope to have time to post more and get some pictures up later. I posted twice yesterday and blogger disconnected me both times, so I just quit. I'll try to get back on this afternoon.

Blessings--Leigh

Orphanage Visit

Yesterday was a long emotional day, but good. We traveled to Emma's orphanage and met her nannies and friends. It's so great to see where Emma lived, but so hard to see where she lived...if that makes sense? You could tell she was loved and that her and Jin Pei were very close. He was so happy to see her, yet so disappointed that his mama and baba weren't there. He has such a sweet smile and kind heart. I know he'll do so well when you come to get him, Cynthia. Peggy, Benjamin is also so sweet. He never seemed afraid of us and loved the frog you sent. The children all seemed very close to each other and the staff. Emma gave all the children the snacks we brought and stickers. They all loved the stickers. Jin Pei came to me with the biggest smile and pointed to the Spiderman stickers I was holding. I asked him if he liked them and wanted some and he grinned the biggest grin and nodded yes.

I've wanted to post pictures and video, but have now misplaced my cable that connects my camera to the computer. We have the day off today, so I'm sure I'll find it. I'm just so glad Mark and Shannon are with us and can post pictures and video, too. Isaiah and Emma are doing really well together, but they do keep me busy. They had such a good time sitting together and playing on the way home last night. It blesses my heart to see them bonding. Isaiah is very protective of Emma. They're both having to learn to share and communicate in a new way, but they definately love each other. Isaiah was crying yesterday and Emma started patting him and gave him some stickers. She really is such a little mama.

She's still a little stand offish with me at times, which I kind of expected. I've always felt she'd be a daddy's girl and that has proven to be true. She sleeps pretty well at night, but has a really stuffy nose and cough that makes her a bit restless. Her sight seems really good out of her left eye. She can claspe the little bracelet I gave her all by herself and can write her Chinese characters on the magna doodle we gave her. She does bring her head to the side of her good eye to see things, but other than that she seems perfectly fine.

Shannon and I were so hoping they'd let our girls hair grow, but instead we got even shorter hair cuts! I gues we'll just do headbands for awhile.

Pictures from the hotel

We had so much fun with the kids this afternoon. She loved her chicken from KFC and shared with us all...she even tried to drink the BBQ sauce. She'll do fine in Texas! It's hard to publish only a few pictures. I hope to figure out the video, so you can hear her laugh. Her voice is so deep...I love it! Isaiah loves being a big brother and is helping her learn the ropes. On the way back from dinner he said, "It's so cute having two sisters." I wish I had the picture Shannon took of Emma laying her head on her Baba's shoulder. It's so precious. Tomorrow we visit the orphanage. I'll be posting pictures along with Shannon for you, Cynthia and Peggy. The children are sooo well prepared to meet their families and yours will be home soon.

Pictures!!!

I hope everyone enjoys these as much as we've enjoyed Emma today. The first pictures are of her arrival. I love the one of her sticking the sticker on Mavery's head...it could have been a prayer for peace! (Mavery was a little upset, but is doing great now) I've got so much to say about her, but I'll let the pictures speak tonight.

Emma Has Arrived!

I'm sorry it has taken me so long to post...internet trouble! Emma is so great. Underneath that precious smile, is a sweetheart that definately has an ornery streak. She loves to mother and keep things in order and can hang with Isaiah. They were in the tub "swimming" earlier and I was sitting watching the kids splash water in each others face, when I found myself covered in water. Emma was laughing so hard...it was too cute. She plays really well with all of us and also by herself. She loves to learn and can say so many English words already.

When we met her this morning she was a little timid, but quickly warmed up. She was keeping a close eye on Mark and Shannon's little one, but seemed right at home with us. She loved all the things we brought her and soon had given everyone stickers and candy bracelets. She knew who we all were and even came up to me and hugged my legs. She loves her baba and is doing well with Isaiah. They've had a couple of brother/sister moments, but all in all both are doing great.
We are on our way to eat and I'm going to post pictures as soon as I can figure out how to. We love you all and can't wait for you to meet Miss Emma.

A Day in Shanghai

We had a really great, relaxed day with our friends seeing the city. Kristy and Jeff fed us a homecooked breakfast that tasted so much like home and then took us downtown to get Mark and Shannon. We all went shopping, to lunch, and then to see the Bund River. It was a beautiful, clear day which is very unusal for Shanghai. Kristy had asked God for clear skies and He gave us just that!

Isaiah has had a great time playing with Jeff and Kristy's girls. We loved watching Isaiah and their youngest, Rebekah, walk hand in hand down the street. I couldn't help but think of Emma and him doing the same! We all managed to stay awake and have felt really good for our first day...a definate improvement from last trip and an answer to prayer.

We will leave for Hangzhou tomorrow afternoon on the 4 o'clock train and will see miss Monday morning! We can feel all the prayers and the Father's grace surrounding us. I will try to post pictures from Hangzhou tomorrow evening.

Much love--Leigh

We're in Shanghai!

We made it in, on time, last night. After 30 hours of travel we were so glad to see the ground and the familiar face of our friend, Kristy. We are spending the day with Jeff and Kristy and Mark and Shannon. I'll try to post pictures later today and more details...but right now I need a cup of coffee!

Blessings from China--Leigh

Emma's Voice

I'm up early this morning thinking of all I need to do before we leave, but mostly I'm thinking of Emma. For months now I've waited for the day I could see her, touch her, and hear her voice. Everytime another family would travel to get their child and would tell me about Emma, I always wanted to ask "but what about her voice?" Maybe it's because what we say tells us about the heart or maybe it's because someones voice can bring comfort and ease when nothing else will. In just a matter of a few days we'll step out from behind the glass that has only been pictures without sound and hear each other. What will she say, what will she be thinking? I don't know exactly what that moment will be like, but I do know I'll love that voice!

So now it's back to the details of the day, but my heart is carrying her in such a huge way. If I don't post again from home, I'll post from China!

Jinhua

From Crackle: Jinhua

Emma's coming home!

In one week from today we'll have Emma with us and start our journey as a family of 6. We have so many things to do before we leave, but it is all coming together. I will hopefully have the bags pretty much packed by tomorrow. Everytime I think I'm done I find something else that needs to go in and something that needs to come out!

We keep praying that Emma will have peace and know His comfort as she prepares to leave the only world she's ever known and enter ours. I just thank my Father over and over that Emma and Mavery get to leave together and that we've met so many of her friends families. Thanks to all our family and friends for your support and prayers. Couldn't do this without you!