We're Home and Emma Grieves

We made it home very late Wednesday night after a long trip home. All in all the kids did so well after 30 hours of travel. Our precious Emma did fine until Minneapolis and our 5 hour lay over. I can only remotely relate to being in a foreign land with all I've ever known really gone and the reality of it all hitting in a moment. That moment came for Emma when I went to put a bandaid on an owie she had. She didn't want that bandaid or that mother at that moment and the flood of tears came. Oh how my heart broke for her in that place. Long story short, her daddy came to the rescue and she eventually cried herself to sleep in Brittany's arms.

She made it on home fine and did love her room. Her eyes lit up when she saw it and all her toys. She and Isaiah fell asleep in his room around 2am. I was awakened about 5am by the crackling of paper in the kitchen and found them both in bed eating the rice snacks we'd brought home from China. They did eventually fall asleep and didn't awaken again until 2:30 that afternoon!

Emma did pretty well yesterday until Blake left (she had an immediate bond with him and told him she loved him that first night). The tears started to flow as he dorve off and there was noone to comfort her. I sat on the floor beside her and just cried with her, but she wanted away from me and everthing else. I think we both could have taken off running and crying in opposite directions and not stopped, but we would have met again on the other side and been right back here again. I know I have to let her grieve, but the pain of watching your child suffer such deep blows is beyond words and beyond difficult. I just kept crying out to my Father to please let me bear this for her... and in that still, calming voice I heard Him reply, "I already have." So I weep when she weeps and ask that in His mercy her pain be healed quickly.

Last night was also difficult as she woke me with her sobbing. Jeff was able to comfort her a little, but sleep didn't come until the wee morning hours. Isaiah was sleeping with her and I asked him to come with me for awhile. He didn't want to leave her, but I knew he needed rest, too. As he lay beside me he began to cry. I asked him if he wanted to talk and he said he was so sad for his Emma and wanted to pray for her. He just kept asking God to help her and make the night not so hard. I know he carries his sister in a way none of us can, having grieved the same losses. I'm just so blessed by my children and their compassion for each other and knowledge of the only One who can really touch and heal our broken hearts.

We are so glad to be home. I do know that the weeping will only last for a moment and when that joy comes how amazing it will be. I look at Isaiah everday and stand in awe of God's goodness and transformation in his heart. It will come for Emma, too.